R*n 269: Haverthwaite

The night before Run Number 269, Forever Blowing rang from The Duddon, with a request: please contact the hares and let them know a short run was preferred because the hashers at the Duddon were 'tired' as a result of 2 too many, long runs, too much climbing, too much sunshine, too much shiggy and perhaps an over indulgence of the amber nectar.

As expected the hares were unobtainable so the run was set as planned.

It started at the Anglers Arms in Haverthwaite and at the first check, there was confusion. Lurch was the instigator, no surprises there. After all these years, he failed to realise that an x on a kissing gate signaled a kissing ritual. He read it as a turnback. It's interesting looking at the satellite mapping from his Garmin at this point. It shows what a frenetic time he had checking the route. In addition it revealed that we 'ran' just over 8 miles, Lurch did 9+ thanks to all his checking. We climbed 200 metres, it seemed more. Lurch burned nearly 1000 calories, quid pro quo, I must have burned at least 2000. For part of the run we were at an altitude of 10 metres below sea level. Was this because the tide was out?

It was a run with lots to offer, green rolling hills,parkland, brilliant weather,views of the South Lakes and steam trains. Not thundering mighty fast steam trains but slow and purposeful , trains that Bitter can identify with because they stay on the rails and can't get lost. Bitter rested on a hill top and communed with the trains below, he lovingly photographed them so he could admire them again later , with his wife Twisted in the privacy of their own home.

Meanwhile the rest of the Hash respected his need to commune with the trains and waited for him on a hill top nearby. When he arrived he was surprised to see us, which was a surprise to us because we were not over the hill we were on it . He had been lost but had spotted some flour and by following the markings had found us again. Amazing. It also had an abundance of nettles, brambles and gorse. Afterwards I looked like a veteran self harmer, it did not look good at work the next day.

D2s went to:

• Dormouse, his clothes are too big on him and he was wearing too many layers, this suggests that his dearly beloved, Speedbump is working him too hard.
• Scouse Count and Pisste Artiste for canoodling.
• Lurch, for his lack of knowledge of hash markings and him an ex GM too
• Bedside Manner and Thunderdick, the hares
• Parsons Nose and his wife Juices Flowing, all the way from Houston, Texas.

Michelle, Scouse Counts friend completed 3 runs in a single weekend and was therefore christened. Her hash name is Pisste Artiste.

Hash Crasher of the weekend was Upperskirt, she managed to mangle both ankles, but failed to receive a D2. At her second major crash we thought she'd collapsed with laughter but Full Member and Master Baker, true hash gentlemen dived to her aid and she couldn't choose which shoulder to lean on so she leaned on both and recovered well.